BLACKNESS - whiteness?
Thursday, we flew to Atlanta for the 62nd annual
reunion of my (Black) Family! As a
white man I always look forward to experiencing what I wish my (white) family
was much more like. I have four first
cousins on both of my parent’s sides, and none of the eight has ever visited
me. I grew up visiting family, but
never having family visit me.
almost 7 years ago with my granddaughter
I exercised early Friday morning at the nearest, Atlanta
Area Planet Fitness. I had trouble
finding the club in its vast shopping area.
The anchor store, and many others, were no longer in business. I called the club. The young man answering the phone was most
patient with me, staying on the phone until I approached Planet Fitness’s
parking area.
I felt totally comfortable being only white person
there. Everyone was most accepting. I chatted for over 40 minutes with the man
on the exercise bike next to mine. He
was 73, a year younger than me. He’d been
drafted and been sent to Vietnam. We
both enjoyed the conversation.
As I finished the workout, another man, spoke directly to
me. He said that he admired how good
shape I’m in. I thanked him. We talked briefly before I went back to the
locker room, showered and returned to
our Airbnb.
Later that morning I went to a large food store with my
partner. Again, virtually everyone was
Black. I saw a man with a t-shirt noting
a high school “Class of 1960”. I
graduated from high school in 1969. He
looked 10 years younger than me. He
confirmed that he graduated from high school in 1960. We had a pleasant brief dialogue.
After returning to the car, I realized that I’d forgotten to
get a plastic spoon, to eat my ice cream with.
I returned to the store and got what I needed at the deli. I cut through an entrance area, speeding up
my leaving the store. I set off a minor
alarm. I joked to the security guard
that I’d “only stolen the plastic silverware”.
He smiled and said I could leave.
I found our car, and the same security guard came by and told me that he’d
come to take back the silverware. We
both laughed!
Everyone I had talked with appeared to be Black! College Park Georgia, where our weekend
residence is, and the surrounding area near Atlanta’s main airport is obviously
predominantly Black.
My partner is Black.
There are a few Family members who aren’t Black.
I went to my first Family Reunion at least 21 years
ago. I fondly remember Katie Harper
welcoming me then. See:
https://www.georgemarx.org/2021/04/katie-harper-wonderful-family-member.html
In the 12
years that I attended public schools in West Lafayette, Indiana I remember one
Black student. She was in West Lafayette
High School only my first year in high school. We had one Black family friend in West
Lafayette whose wife was white.
--
I experience
white peoples’ fear of Black People frequently! It comes in various ways at various times. I remember perhaps the summer of 2019, when
I was with three male fellow alumni of my high school class getting together in
a Chicago restaurant for lunch. I
suggested that they watch the beginning of a YouTube video of Robin DiAngelo (,
the author of White Fragility,) and shut it off after five minutes, if
they didn’t find it worth watching.
D responded:
“George, you only care about racism because your wife is Black”. I was deeply offended when neither of the
two others said anything then! I had
been prepared to reach out to give support to D. His wife had a major stroke some years ago,
and I thought he could use some emotional support, given how little time he had. Most of his time was spent working and
caring for his wife.
I did not “retaliate”
to D’s statement. I easily could
have. In the Summer of 1961, when 10
years old, my parents, my brother Daniel, then 8, and I were in a Civil Rights
March in Lafayette, Indiana. My Anti-Racism
journey began 64 years ago. (I regret
that I didn’t get more active in serious work in opposing racism before late
2018, though.)
I could anecdotally
give numerous other examples.
TRUST?
The night of June 17, 2015, 21-year-old Roof, who is
white, entered the Emanuel AME Church and attended a Bible study, where he was
welcomed by the parishioners, according to authorities. Roof then drew his
pistol and opened fire, authorities said.
Felicia Sanders, a survivor of the shooting, later
testified that when Roof opened fire she clutched her granddaughter tight and
told her to play dead.
"I could feel the warm blood flowing on each side of
me," she said.
"I was just waiting on my turn," she added.
"Even if I got shot, I just didn't want my granddaughter to get
shot."
Amid the chaos and the bloodshed, her youngest son,
Tywanza Sanders, stood up and confronted the assailant: "Why are you doing
this?" he asked, according to Felicia Sanders' testimony.
"And he told our son, 'I have to do this because
y'all raping our women and taking over the world,'" Felicia Sanders said.
"And that's when [the gunman] put about five bullets in my son.
"We watched him take his last breath," she said
of her son. "I watched my son come into this world, and I watched my son
leave this world."
After fatally shooting nine people, Roof walked out the
door, to his car and fled, leaving the carnage behind him.
https://abcnews.go.com/US/key-moments-charleston-church-shooting-case-dylann-roof/story?id=46701033
This Black
church’s leaders and members trusted Dylann Roof, and paid a huge, huge price
for their trust!
Do we – the white
people – think about – trust – and Racism?
How many of
us white people really are deeply committed to Anti-Racism work now, five years
after George Floyd was killed? How many
were deeply emotionally impacted by the deaths of Breonna Taylor, Ahmaud Arbery,
Michael Brown, Trayvon Martin and the shooting of Jacob Blake by a police
officer?
Why do so
many Black People start out trusting we who are white?
Why do so
many white people fear Black People?
Donald Trump
held a campaign rally at Madison Square Garden in October of 2024 that was
widely criticized! It did not appear
to hurt his election the following month, and might well have helped him. Some quotes from the Rally are noted below from
various speakers:
“She’s
eating the cats, she’s eating the dogs. They’re eating the pets up
there.” –
Haitian immigrants in Ohio
In a bit
involving an audience member whom Hinchcliffe identified as Black, Hinchcliffe
said that the man was “one of [his] buddies” with whom he had attended a
Halloween party at which they “carved watermelon together”.
Tucker
Carlson, the Trump loyalist and former Fox News host, sarcastically referred to
Harris, who is Black and Indian, as a “Samoan-Malaysian” with a “low IQ”,
joining other Republicans who have purposely misidentified Harris’s background
throughout the campaign cycle. Carson’s claims about Harris’s intellectual
capacity have also been parroted by Trump, and have no basis. The
businessman Grant Cardone also insulted Harris during his remarks, suggesting
that she was a sex worker and her advisers were “pimp handlers”, a
misogynistic, racist and entirely false accusation.
When will we
white people, most particularly those of us who are privileged white men show
our displeasure with Blatant Racist statements and Actions – more than
performatively – with a substantial effort locally – with other white men (or
people as a whole if not white men only).
--
I have a few
suggestions for white people who care about Black People and Racism:
1.) When you watch movies – particularly going
out to movie theaters – how about going to a “Black Movie”. Black People go far, far more frequently to “white
movies” – Barbie seems pretty white to me- for example. When I go with my Black partner to Black
movies, it is rare to see white people who are not with Black People,
2.) When you read books, consider reading
the books of noted Black authors such as James Baldwin or Maya Angelou or even
read white authors such as Shelly Tochluk who focus on Black People and racism,
3.) Don’t lean on Black People to “educate
you” and “tell you what to do related to racism”. Groups such as: SURJ - https://surj.org/
- Showing Up for Racial Justice and/or check out: AWARE-LA - https://www.awarela.org/
- SURJ’s Los Angeles Chapter – probably the strongest individual white Anti-Racist
local white group in the U.S. – they have a lot for all of us white people,
4.) White Men – check out – White Men for
Racial Justice - https://www.wmrj.org/
- the most notable men’s
group I’ve seen over the past 44 years,
and:
· Loretta Ross – an amazing Black Woman
- https://lorettajross.com/
- https://www.georgemarx.org/2025/06/loretta-ross-calling-in-wow.html - can be helpful for all of us – particularly related to Calling
In .
I welcome –
constructive criticism – beyond “teaching me” – how I shouldn’t capitalize
this, or use so many dashes and similar – which comes uniformly from those who
Never – deal with the substance of what I say and often are trying to sell me –
something! I made $38.91 last year from
re-posting from – georgemarx(dot)org on Medium and I spend far, far more money
on these things.
Thanks!!!!!
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