WMRJ - White Men for Racial Justice

 

“I am sentencing you to prison today.   I sentenced your mother to prison previously.   I expect that I will probably sentence your children to prison”.    Candace was 22 years old.   She had two daughters and was pregnant with her son.   When her son was born, she had a few hours with him, before he was taken away from her.

Candace - an Incredible, Caring Woman

I can not imagine the feelings that Candace had!    She knew that she had failed her children.    She must have been very scared.   There weren’t mental health professionals, nor other supportive staff seeking to ease her transition and her years in prison.

In December, 2023 Candace was released from prison.   Taylor Paul asked her to come with him to speak to us – men from White Men for Racial Justice (wmrj.org) last Friday evening.   She implicitly trusted him and bravely spoke her truths before us 35 or so white men.

I felt deeply sad and moved watching and listening to Candace in her orange jumpsuit facing us.   

My Black, Female Partner’s life experiences have been significantly different from this younger Black woman.   Her parents were greatly privileged, compared to Candace’s family.   I’m significantly more privileged than my spouse is!

I doubt that most readers of this can emotionally feel what I felt over much of Thursday afternoon through today (Sunday) morning!  

The prisons unfortunately do their intended job!    They dehumanize and humiliate those they are “rehabilitating” and “holding accountable” for making one or more mistakes.  

Our Amazing - Challenging Afternoon Presentation Beginning

There were about twelve Black Men amongst us who had received death sentences generally as teenagers or young adults.     The man directly in front of me spent 41 years of his life in institutions that I’ve never spent one minute of my life in.  He told me that the man adjacent to me at the adjoining table had mentored him.   This man had spent 35 years, much of which were as his cell mate.

My Neighbors - Two Wonderful Men - 41 and 35 years Imprisoned - Cellmates

The man in front of him had been released from prison August 8^th, 2024.   “Today” – was September 27^th, 2024. (see below)

These three men were all seeking to help prevent other Black People from following in their footsteps.    They were in community and appreciating each other on a Deep journey that’s self-healing process brought them into a world of struggling.   They were and are seeking to change the systemic nature of Imprisonment in Virginia and The United States as a whole and beyond.

Candace and other Black Women and Men spoke of how the Women faced deeper challenges than The Men.   They often had no one visiting them, a loss of time with their children who were growing up without them.

Both Men and Women faced the day-to-day realities of prison life.   When grandparents, parents, and siblings died, they couldn’t grieve at their funerals or with their fellow kin.

Jay — a white man — speaking in a very Black Space — masterfully

Taylor Paul (formerly Paul Taylor) is an amazing leader, mentor, deep lover and much more of his People!    September 27^th was the fourth time Black People who had returned – were acknowledged.   The first two events were planned through his leadership before his own release.   He had been denied parole at least 26 times before he was released.

Proudly Introducing her Husband - His Queen

Taylor Paul - Wow!

The man in front of my (who had been imprisoned for 41 years) received a phone call from “unknown caller”.   He answered the call, because it could easily be from an ally and friend from where he had been.   Taylor Paul receives many times as many such calls all the time.  

As we gathered at 10:00 am this morning, September 29^th, 2024, Taylor Paul was deeply with us.    At 9:00 a.m. he had been with a man acknowledging this man’s eighth anniversary of not having used drugs.

Taylor Paul was crying deeply with us as we concluded our weekend together!    He had just received a painting he had previously seen, a gift from us.   The gifted painting portrayed his own son Prix, who had committed suicide relatively recently.

Saturday evening was absorbing the stories of four Black People, including Candace, Taylor Paul, and Taylor Paul being dragged out of the church prayer area by two of our leaders, reenacting the horror that Prix had experienced prior to his suicide.

Friday we were walking along the Slave Trail of Richmond, Virginia.   The Church’s Reverend had been a prime leader of the development of The Trail’s creation over the last 3+ decades.   The actual Slaves were dragged, chained to each other, having just arrived in the U.S., not knowing what slavery even was to be in their lives to be sold upstream.

Many of us were holding the hands of young Black Women, students at Virginia State University in nearby Petersburg.   Some of these young women were deeply triggered, trying to trust us, in a most scary place for them.   Our hands and connection together symbolized the enslavement, seeking to heal the Deep Wounds of these courageous Black People.   We had varying reactions, all of us deeply moved together.

So who are we?    We are white men, trying to do our work, helping to support the Black Lead challenging work to end Racism.   We are learning more of how to do our work together, both personal, and through action in our lives.

WMRJ – is the best (by far the best) organization of white men, committed to the work!   Jay and Kevin and Ron are amazing, caring, deeply committed white men who help us in so many ways!   Billy is unbelievable!   Others are moving, doing their best, at varying places in their/our lifelong journey.

Jay, Kevin, Zoe

Thursday, we began joining Zoe’s students, some in one of her three classes, some from a prior semester, some just asking to be with us.   We worked together listening to the wisdom of these young Black, deeply committed allies.   We were at perhaps 10 or 12 tables.  Each tables’ participants worked collaboratively.   We had a title related to how we thought Racism could best be ended, as well as steps and pieces of the work on the journey.  Each table came up with a different (often overlapping to another’s) focus and story which included a variety of common elements.

I thought, after this beginning, that it would be difficult to have comparable learning and meaning on the following three days together.

I was, so, so wrong!   I thought, going into the weekend, that it would have meaning.  I anticipated three – quarters  of quite good, meaningful work and one quarter of not-so-good stuff.   The one quarter part just wasn’t there.

I hope that a few of you white men will listen, and choose to join us.   I hope that a few others, will refer others you know and care about, who are white men to WMRJ!   Thanks@