Twin Poisons

 


Twin Addictions

Sugar +- Books

Which Side

Am I on?



Is the Sugar

The Poison

or not?



Then again,

Maybe, Just Maybe

The Books are The Poison

Is the Poison in my Head

Clearly, at some Times

-        A Deep Poison

Polluting Me Deeply

When

When – My Head

Holds me Prisoner!

The Bullying

Being Totally Alone

Abandoned

ignored  the Fact

-        Beyond

My Gut

Are Books?

or The Written Word?

Necessarily – or Obviously

Poison?

Well, no



April 22, 2024

The death of my (only) brother

Though technically –

a Blood Infection

in An Amazing, Amazing

Hospital

“won” – the battle(s)

of those Moments

Dropping Slowly –

As a Clear Poison

The Meds –

Pumped into His Tired Body

Slowed, but couldn’t stop

Him,

I saw a Deep Beauty

Never Knowing – if

He’d known

I’d Been with him

That Final Day

as Well as when I’d been

with him – his eyes Closed

Machines – Manipulating

his body

(not only that last day,

but also the days I’d spent with him

– during the previous week)

The Deep Beauty

Wasn’t His/Him –

Of Course

Rather,

It was a Gift

For Me

The Poisons within me

-        Totally Me

Bullied George

Lashing Out

The Books

Unresolved *h*t

The Sugars

I’m guessing

My Fears –

Fears – of Success

-        Cause

Little George had

No – Really No

Success –

of His Heart

His Heart –

Hopefully – will become

My Heart

Curious –

Open

Not Hailed Down

by the Hatreds –

The Deep Fears

Squashing – Horrible Squashing

The Life, the lives

of Those Ignored

Vilified

The Tables Turned

over on Top of Them

Not, Not

Retribution – for wrongs,

But Rather

Repeated Punishment

for Being the Feared

“Others”

-        Not

-        Not

One of Us

None of You

of Our Being(s)

You Don’t Matter

Through

No Fault

Except

Except – our Deep Fears

Traumatize – and Re-Traumatize

And Re-Re-Traumatize

Sugaring You – with

Bitterly Salty – Rain

Which Stains you Deeply.

I Cry!

Do My Tears Matter?

Will I Matter?

Will I ever Deeply

Escape

Little George

Not – to become

“Big George”

But Rather

To perhaps be – Maybe

“Pink George”

or Even

A Feather

Pushed by the Winds

Around Me

I don’t know

-

My Caring –

Isn’t Enough so Far

Enough – for Me

to Really Deeply Heal

So – Perhaps

I Can grow

Really Grow

Turning –

From the Growth

Within Me – Sustaining

Sustaining Itself

Turned Inside Out –

and then

Outside In

The Waves – slowly

Settling

The Gentle

and

Rough Winds

Together

(I Hope) – in Peace

In Love

In Loving Space

September 5, 2024 – moving towards another day


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