I am Sad
In this moment
I am very
sad
I have
anger, definitely
But – the sadness
is most prevalent
I know that
I’ve messed up plenty
And
I also know
myself – increasingly
as I seek –
heart based growth
It,
Includes:
Being Aware
of My Anger,
Not something
I felt I could have as a child-
Carried forth
into much of my “adulthood”
Being
Assertive, while seeking Human –
Deepening
Connection
Intimacy
-Not Feeling Alone
I am NOT
lonely – any longer
I’m Growing –
in Spurts at Times
I (still)
make Plenty of Mistakes
I’m more aware
now, however,
of Making
Choices –
No Longer –
Building up –
Anger
Then It
Spilling Out
Not Always
Directed –
Anywhere
Related to –
what was underneath it
Life is INCREDIBLE
Now for Me!
It is
Challenging,
Deeply,
Deeply Challenging
in this
brief moment of my life
I don’t know
Where my
life – will move – now
I Do Know –
it will be “the right way”
for Me,
whether it is
Sludging
through the Much
or on a Less
Difficult ribbed road –
slowing its
traffic
I’m learning
not to race
to Slow Down
To Breathe
I Breathe
Slowly
In this
Moment
I’m Learning,
Slowly
I made a
Conscious Choice –
Earlier
It may have
been the final Implosion
And
It’s what –
I consciously chose
I’m not
crazy,
While my 18 ½
- 19 ½ days
Are Utterly
Insane
(for others –
to see
And think
about)
For me – it is
a Meaningful Life
Meaning is
more important
Than My
Happiness
Happiness,
goes along with Sadness
Grief –
Genocide Today
Threats to
be – here
A Fascist
State
I do NOT
Hate!
The “Pro-Death”
Opposition (they prefer their word – the “L” word
ending - in “ife”
We can – (when
they are open to it and have the capacity)
Listen,
And I can
hear some
Of Who They
Are
They do have
Humanity
Harder for
me – are those
“Close to me”
– often “liberals”
--
I am
Who I want
to be
Autistic,
Stubborn at times
Welcoming –
the
Chilly Rain –
Coming – 20-40
mph,
Directly at
me!
I’m grateful!
At This
Chance
Finally,
Feeling
My Opportunity/Opportunities!
So Quickly –
so Slow!
Thankful I
am!
I am
hopeful!
Also – Still
Very
SAD – Sad –
sad – sad – sad
9:24 pm – March 26, 2024
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