III - Much Better - The Growth Begins

Initially - after I crashed and burned - things down- between us, I realized something that should have been obvious decades earlier!   I was caught in a mindset of “tit vs. tat” - as in:  “yes, what I did was wrong, But what you did to me justified my destructive response at you”.


I began to explore the hurt that I had caused, and how I had been very, very wrong over our entire relationship.  (Immaterial - in these moments, was what, if anything, you’d done to me.)


(I’m aware that in this writing I switch foci - from the general to specific (often pronoun) - without warning.)

I was beginning to (finally) listen, really listen.

Listening to others - particularly my partner - was most important.

I also started to learn to listen to myself - to experience what I was really saying - not only what I meant, but also the impact my words had on those I spoke at and with.

This was the beginning of my Journey, 


On Loyola's Campus "Together" - Not Long Before We Left Chicago

Which increasingly flowed and at times jumped

Moving Forward

with some miss-steps -

Learning Opportunities

The More I learn

The More I realize

How Little I know

New Things

But More Importantly

New Visions

New Images

Abound



Most Meaningful Chicago Work

This is a Beginning

Of Exploring

My Heart

My Spirit

My Soul

There are moments

Where I stall

But on the Whole

It has been - 

A Most Fulfilling Time

I am most Thankful

I’ve Been Gifted

What I have

and

Am trying to Build

A New Identity

Built Upon a Foundation

of Past -

Lack of Consistency

Moving from Being Fully Alone

and Wounded

to joining - others

At least in significant part(s)

In doing Good - Having Meaning -

Being Who I Want to Be


Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Table of Contents and More

  Table of Contents and Much More   PARTIAL  - TABLE OF CONTENTS + More https://www.georgemarx.org/ - My Personal Blog https://www.workingtowardsendingracism.org/ -  My Anti-Racism Blog https://www.wm4j.org/- ( White Men 4 Justice )  My effort to help white men tie in with and support the efforts of others (as well as ourselves) working to build a loving, just world https://joinmerj.org/  -  MERJ - Men for Equity and Reproductive Justice Caring White Men Sharing Together  - http://www.caringwhitemen.com/ EXCELLENT FREE VIDEOS https://www.georgemarx.org/2024/03/excellent-videos-no-cost-to-watch.html -- A.    P E R S O N A L     W R I T I N G S   1.  B O O K   (+ MORE)   R E V I E W S  -   R A C I S M http://www.workingtowardsendingracism.org/2023/04/resources-updated.html 2.   R E P R O D U C T I V E    J U S T I C E https://www.georgemarx.org/2023/01/reproductive-justice-my-writings.html 3.  ISRAEL - PALESTINE - JUDAISM https://www.georgemarx.org/2022/12/palestine-israel-judiasm-posts-
Read more

Big Girls Don't Cry

BIG GIRLS DON'T CRY My father (Menachem) Imanuel Marx died Friday, November 13, 1964, when I was 13 years old.    My mother woke my brother and I up with the news early that morning.    We went to the hospital and saw him for the last time. I didn’t cry then.       Daniel and I went to school that day.   I didn’t tell anyone. Two days later at the funeral, I was still being “a man” (i.e. not crying).   Until I was in my second men’s group around age 31, I didn’t allow myself to cry .    I rationalized this by saying to myself:   “ How does x compare with the death of my father ?”. I am self-identified as a   Jewish man .    Growing up that meant being intellectual and not emotional .    Our Sabbath dinner was the only time in the week, when we couldn’t read at the table.    While I was “schooled” on feelings through my men’s work (, most significantly through helping co-found Men Stopping Rape, Inc. in 1983), it was only several months ago that I was able to first
Read more

Palestine-Israel-Judaism Posts - Links (My Writings)

Image
B O O K    R E V I E W S Except for Palestine:  The Limits of Progressive Politics   - Marc Lamont Hill and Mitchell Plitnick https://www.georgemarx.org/2021/05/progressives-palestine-book-review.html Hamas Contained: The Rise and Pacification of Palestinian Resistance  - Tareq Baconi   https://www.georgemarx.org/2024/02/hamas-contained-tareq-baconis-excellent.html The Hundred Year War  on Palestine: A History of Settler Colonialism and Resistance, 1917-2017 - Rashid Khalidi    https://www.georgemarx.org/2024/02/the-hundred-years-war-rashid-khalidi.html The Iron Cage , A "Must Read" on Palestine and Israel   - Rashid Khalidi https://www.georgemarx.org/2022/12/the-iron-cage-must-read-on-palestine.html Justice for Some:   Law and the Question of Palestine  - Noura Erakat -  https://www.georgemarx.org/2024/05/justice-for-some-noura-erakat-great-book.html Kingdom of Olives and Ash: Writers Confront The Occupation -  Editors: Michael Chabon and Ayelet Waldm a n https://www.georg
Read more