It is Hard to Feel Hope

It is hard to feel Hope


When trying to share my feelings and thoughts


-


Brings:


Either:


Extreme Anger –


thrown at Me


or


Silence


It is hard to feel Hope


When your words to me


Repeatedly


give me a Message


That


I hear saying


You are Wrong,


Simply Wrong


including:


That


You differ from the norm


That ALL my good friends share


with me


Implying


that my being Different


is Deviant, Immature, and Impossible


to live with


I am told


That-

I am Negative, Unaccepting


and


Asking


for More, More, More


It is True


that


I ask for some things


inFrequently


Focusing


upon


Things


That feel foreign, alien, difficult


for You


It is only


Occasionally


that


Things are That Important


to me,


Otherwise,


I remain silent,


Not wishing


To Rock the Boat


It is Obvious


that


I have wounded you


Deeply
-
I Wish




- 


That


I had Not


been Blind


for


So Long.
-
I am trying,




-


but


Perhaps


Either


It is Too Late


or


It was Never


Meant


to be


I don’t Know!


I have been blessed


with


A Brilliant Teacher


A Loving, Caring Person


You


Who has taught me


So, So Much


but


I fear


That All


That there is for You


is


The Deep Wound


I can - not help
Heal.
-
I am Sorry





-


for


All


The Betrayal and Other Hurt


I have (foolishly and immaturely) given.
-
I took Much Too Long




to


Begin


Waking up.
-
I am Sad!




-


My Grief


I can finally Feel


in its


Nearly Full Depth.
-
I am also Aware




that


Most Recently


I have Given,
I have Been Present
I have done my Best.




-


It seems,


that


at least


I Fear


That


It is Over


I Hope


that


I am Wrong.
-
You are




-


A Beautiful Person


who Deserves


Fulfillment, Happiness
and Love.



-


I do Believe


That


I Really Love You


but


Perhaps


It is Only


a Mirage
-  -
    It is Hard to Feel Hope
    But I (still do)
            x

..

-




               










Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Table of Contents and More

  Table of Contents and Much More   PARTIAL  - TABLE OF CONTENTS + More https://www.georgemarx.org/ - My Personal Blog https://www.workingtowardsendingracism.org/ -  My Anti-Racism Blog https://www.wm4j.org/- ( White Men 4 Justice )  My effort to help white men tie in with and support the efforts of others (as well as ourselves) working to build a loving, just world https://joinmerj.org/  -  MERJ - Men for Equity and Reproductive Justice Caring White Men Sharing Together  - http://www.caringwhitemen.com/ EXCELLENT FREE VIDEOS https://www.georgemarx.org/2024/03/excellent-videos-no-cost-to-watch.html -- A.    P E R S O N A L     W R I T I N G S   1.  B O O K   (+ MORE)   R E V I E W S  -   R A C I S M http://www.workingtowardsendingracism.org/2023/04/resources-updated.html 2.   R E P R O D U C T I V E    J U S T I C E https://www.georgemarx.org/2023/01/reproductive-justice-my-writings.html 3.  ISRAEL - PALESTINE - JUDAISM https://www.georgemarx.org/2022/12/palestine-israel-judiasm-posts-
Read more

Big Girls Don't Cry

BIG GIRLS DON'T CRY My father (Menachem) Imanuel Marx died Friday, November 13, 1964, when I was 13 years old.    My mother woke my brother and I up with the news early that morning.    We went to the hospital and saw him for the last time. I didn’t cry then.       Daniel and I went to school that day.   I didn’t tell anyone. Two days later at the funeral, I was still being “a man” (i.e. not crying).   Until I was in my second men’s group around age 31, I didn’t allow myself to cry .    I rationalized this by saying to myself:   “ How does x compare with the death of my father ?”. I am self-identified as a   Jewish man .    Growing up that meant being intellectual and not emotional .    Our Sabbath dinner was the only time in the week, when we couldn’t read at the table.    While I was “schooled” on feelings through my men’s work (, most significantly through helping co-found Men Stopping Rape, Inc. in 1983), it was only several months ago that I was able to first
Read more

Palestine-Israel-Judaism Posts - Links (My Writings)

Image
B O O K    R E V I E W S Except for Palestine:  The Limits of Progressive Politics   - Marc Lamont Hill and Mitchell Plitnick https://www.georgemarx.org/2021/05/progressives-palestine-book-review.html Hamas Contained: The Rise and Pacification of Palestinian Resistance  - Tareq Baconi   https://www.georgemarx.org/2024/02/hamas-contained-tareq-baconis-excellent.html The Hundred Year War  on Palestine: A History of Settler Colonialism and Resistance, 1917-2017 - Rashid Khalidi    https://www.georgemarx.org/2024/02/the-hundred-years-war-rashid-khalidi.html The Iron Cage , A "Must Read" on Palestine and Israel   - Rashid Khalidi https://www.georgemarx.org/2022/12/the-iron-cage-must-read-on-palestine.html Justice for Some:   Law and the Question of Palestine  - Noura Erakat -  https://www.georgemarx.org/2024/05/justice-for-some-noura-erakat-great-book.html Kingdom of Olives and Ash: Writers Confront The Occupation -  Editors: Michael Chabon and Ayelet Waldm a n https://www.georg
Read more