Living With Constipation

Since April, 2018, I have struggled with constipation.  For me it is not the condition where one goes four days or longer with no Number 2.   It is rather the condition where oft times no matter how much comes out, it isn't enough.   It is looking in the toilet and seeing blood, as one might have if female and having one's period.    It is spending far too much time on the toilet of times, needing a lot of patience.

I take a lot of both prescription medication and supplements to try to soften things up.   I also have physical therapy where the therapist is doing her best to get me to relax my pelvic floor muscles, most important in stopping this horrible condition.

The worst time for my constipation is generally about 1-3 a.m.   I wake up after 1-3 hours of sleep, needing to go to the bathroom.   Before constipation was an issue, due to my prostate, I'd wake up after 2-3 hours of sleep, pee and go right back to sleep.   Now, most nights I'm stuck on the toilet for 30-60 minutes, hoping hopelessly that "it all will come out".   Eventually, I can't get any more out, but still feel like more should come out.

At that point I am bloated, uncomfortable, not able to "go more" and not able to sleep.   Without the constipation affecting me, I'm asleep within seconds.  I am exhausted.   With the effects of the constipation controlling me in these times, I'm awake for hours.   Most of the time I will go downstairs and do my daily exercise.  No one else is in the gym because it's somewhere between 2:30 and 3:30 a.m.   Exercise feels good, seemingly opening my system up a little.

It is unsettling to go to the bathroom an average of 8-15 times a day.   Commonly, I have no sense of what will happen when I go to the bathroom.   Occasionally it will be just gas.   Most of the time I'm on the toilet for a few minutes to 20 minutes or so.   It varies with how difficult it is to go.  Increasingly, with the higher doses of miralax I'm consuming, there are explosions and lots coming out.   Some of the time I'm straining a moderate amount, sometimes not.   Most of the time it hurts from a tiny amount to moderately.   Generally, at the end, I need to stand up, wait 30 seconds to two minutes, and then pee comes out, sometimes with a little difficulty.  I have no sense of whether it will be a small or large amount.

Prior to April, 2018, I took going to the bathroom for granted.   Now, it's an adventure, and not in a good way.

My sleep pattern is totally disrupted.   I get 1-3 hours of sleep.   Later on I may get another one to two hours of sleep.   Later in the day, when I have the time I get a nap of 30 minutes to two hours.   Falling asleep is never an issue (besides after my initial slleep at night).   Nearly always I fall asleep within seconds, and sleep soundly for one to two hours.   When I sleep two or more hours, I'm usually drowsy.

I am sleep deprived!   (See Asleep at the Wheel - belowl)


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