Two Parallel Tales in My Life
I had a friendship which seems to be over.
Zoey is totally not housebroken. There appears to be mysteries in her background. The answers as to what has happened in her past will never be known to us.
What seems to have caused the termination of my friendship is much less mysterious. The aspergers influenced part of me "spoke out" antagonizing he who was my friend.
Zoe's background is filled with contradictions. We were told by her breeders who had her most, if not all of her life before last Sunday, that she was born May 5, 2018. Our veterinarian has indicated that her teeth show a dog who probably is between one and two years old. If, she is her purported age, the vet indicates that her care has been extremely poor. I took her to The Bark Bark Club. A staff member saw her teeth and said that she clearly must be over one year old.
I was looking forward to developing more deeply my friendship with the man I considered my best Chicago friend. It mystified me that after talking of looking forward to seeing me, after nearly 4 months in Chicago, there was still neither a plan for getting together nor an explanation that our getting together needed to be delayed due to particular circumstances.
I was not naive. I knew that my friend was very busy. I was naive in thinking that in a friendship such as ours, he would make the time to see me and would communicate related to why further delays needed to occur.
Zoey's going to pee or poop seems very random when it occurs. It has not occurred on our couch. It has not occurred in our bedroom including in her crate and on our bed, as well as on the floor around our bed. It does not occur as I take her downstairs to go outside.
Zoey loves to sniff in the "dog to go" area outside of our building. She loves the smells from the other dogs. She loves to meet other dogs. She doesn't - do it - after sniffing around an area outside. When she goes, she suddenly drops down if peeing and lets loose if pooping - wherever she is at the moment. When she goes outside, nearly always there is a significant time break between doing Numbers 1 or 2 (in either order).
I approach my friendships in varing ways. Where I value the friendship, I try to be open and direct with my friends. If I'm pissed at a friend, I rarely hide it from them.. With more limited friendships, I try to share only that which feels safe to share and avoid confrontations. When I choose to confront a friend, I try my best to be honest and to the point, while trying to respect them. My words can sting at times.
Zoey had her first training session with our dog trainer today. Hopefully, within several weeks, the problems will be minimal, if not gone. Zoey will be happier and we will be happier.
My friendship increasingly seems over. I have regrets, but on balance feel that I did what I needed to do. I won't live on shards of glass, struggling to avoid pain. I'm unable and unwilling to accept that a "good friend" won't respond and deal with our connections. I'm not willing to accept some friendships degenerating into nothingness, without, at a minimum, some clarity from the friend that explains things to me.
Zoey is a wonderful pup! It isn't easy now with her at times, but that I can live through without rancor or self-doubt.