I am Sad

In this moment

I am very sad

I have anger, definitely

But – the sadness is most prevalent

I know that I’ve messed up plenty

And

I also know myself – increasingly

as I seek – heart based growth

It,

Includes:

Being Aware of My Anger,

Not something I felt I could have as a child-

Carried forth into much of my “adulthood”

Being Assertive, while seeking Human –

Deepening Connection

Intimacy -Not Feeling Alone

I am NOT lonely – any longer

I’m Growing – in Spurts at Times

I (still) make Plenty of Mistakes

I’m more aware now, however,

of Making Choices –

No Longer –

Building up – Anger

Then It Spilling Out

Not Always

Directed – Anywhere

Related to – what was underneath it

Life is INCREDIBLE Now for Me!

It is Challenging,

Deeply, Deeply Challenging

in this brief moment of my life

I don’t know

Where my life – will move – now

I Do Know – it will be “the right way”

for Me, whether it is

Sludging through the Much

or on a Less Difficult ribbed road –

slowing its traffic

I’m learning not to race

to Slow Down

To Breathe

I Breathe Slowly

In this Moment

I’m Learning, Slowly

I made a Conscious Choice –

Earlier

It may have been the final Implosion

And

It’s what – I consciously chose

I’m not crazy,

While my 18 ½ - 19 ½ days

Are Utterly Insane

(for others – to see

And think about)

For me – it is a Meaningful Life

Meaning is more important

Than My Happiness

Happiness, goes along with Sadness

Grief – Genocide Today

Threats to be – here

A Fascist State

I do NOT Hate!

The “Pro-Death” Opposition (they prefer their word – the “L” word

ending  - in “ife”

We can – (when they are open to it and have the capacity)

Listen,

And I can hear some

Of Who They Are

They do have Humanity

Harder for me – are those

“Close to me” – often “liberals”

--

I am

Who I want to be

Autistic, Stubborn at times

Welcoming – the

Chilly Rain –

Coming – 20-40 mph,

Directly at me!

I’m grateful!

At This Chance

Finally, Feeling

My Opportunity/Opportunities!

So Quickly – so Slow!

Thankful I am!

I am hopeful!

Also – Still Very

SAD – Sad –

sad – sad – sad

9:24 pm – March 26, 2024