IV - Much Better - The Personal is Political (and Vice Versa)


A few years ago

I spoke out



an Otherwise Non-Political Space


I did it

Not as “an Invader”

Attacking - others - in Their Space


But Rather - as One

Who was otherwise Kept Out

of Common Space

Which - Left Me Out

Because of Who I am (and what worlds I live in)


Common in such circumstances,

though generally not seen - by others

Is Privilege

Privilege is Significant

Those with it

Need Not

See it - Nor its Impact


Those lacking it

It was ironic

In that time

That the One Person


Spoke Up

was someone

Who I later unfriended

from Facebook

Because of her

Reactionary Posts


Demonstrated the Worst

of what I’ve faced

Among Those I know


A second occurrence

Came Forward

in Men’s Space


Where I faced the Reality


Two Men

That I still very much admire

Told me a Truth

Which had been Stated to me Previously

in Training

Pulling me (by an important choice - my choice)


Moving into Leadership in the Organization



It - the Organization’s - basis - point - of 

“We focus solely upon individual men’s own personal work”

Which Means to me that:

1.     The Gay Man - of the group - Must bring up his issues - dealing with Het Men, because the Het Men - don’t have an issue (sic) related to whatever bonds they may have with Gay Men


2.                 The Black or Latino/LatinX Man – is generally the only one to bring up Racism, as well as how he feels Marginalized amongst only, or nearly only white men - because it is Not a “white” issue

3.                 I, as an Autist man, must recognize - that I am being (reluctantly often) accepted, however when I ask for the lighting to be adjusted, or for there be an effort to eliminate the hum of the air conditioning (or similar) - the other men - are putting up with my “weirdness” - at best.

I tried without success - to suggest that our group - should take perhaps 15-20% of our training time looking at our multiple identities - as men or male identified people.   For me, it might be:  white, male, autistic, older, cis-gendered/hettish, Jewish, able-bodied + ?.

Within each of our identities we may have:

1.     Acknowledged or Unacknowledged Privilege,

2.     Areas where we have no or little privilege.  We may still have childhood, or ancestral trauma - we have work to focus upon – often hidden away from much of our conscious attention.

I insist – that the personal is political.  I insist that the political is personal.   I am “being political” – when I limit my focus to what I want to focus upon, leaving important parts of myself out (either by choice, or without recognizing what I am doing).   When I am in denial of this, most likely – my “political stance” – is largely ignoring the patriarchy, the privileges that I have.   Where others lack significant privilege, they can’t ignore the political – unless they want to face issues of potentially being murdered, when Black, and/or being raped, when female, or perceived as female by others.

There is much more here!




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