It is Hard to Feel Hope

It is hard to feel Hope


When trying to share my feelings and thoughts


-


Brings:


Either:


Extreme Anger –


thrown at Me


or


Silence


It is hard to feel Hope


When your words to me


Repeatedly


give me a Message


That


I hear saying


You are Wrong,


Simply Wrong


including:


That


You differ from the norm


That ALL my good friends share


with me


Implying


that my being Different


is Deviant, Immature, and Impossible


to live with


I am told


That-

I am Negative, Unaccepting


and


Asking


for More, More, More


It is True


that


I ask for some things


inFrequently


Focusing


upon


Things


That feel foreign, alien, difficult


for You


It is only


Occasionally


that


Things are That Important


to me,


Otherwise,


I remain silent,


Not wishing


To Rock the Boat


It is Obvious


that


I have wounded you


Deeply
-
I Wish





That


I had Not


been Blind


for


So Long.
-
I am trying,




-


but


Perhaps


Either


It is Too Late


or


It was Never


Meant


to be


I don’t Know!


I have been blessed


with


A Brilliant Teacher


A Loving, Caring Person


You


Who has taught me


So, So Much


but


I fear


That All


That there is for You


is


The Deep Wound


I can - not help
Heal.
-
I am Sorry





-


for


All


The Betrayal and Other Hurt


I have (foolishly and immaturely) given.
-
I took Much Too Long




to


Begin


Waking up.
-
I am Sad!




-


My Grief


I can finally Feel


in its


Nearly Full Depth.
-
I am also Aware




that


Most Recently


I have Given,
I have Been Present
I have done my Best.




-


It seems,


that


at least


I Fear


That


It is Over


I Hope


that


I am Wrong.
-
You are




-


A Beautiful Person


who Deserves


Fulfillment, Happiness
and Love.



-


I do Believe


That


I Really Love You


but


Perhaps


It is Only


a Mirage
-  -
    It is Hard to Feel Hope
    But I (still do)
            x

..

-








               












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