Ending the Abuse of Women (and Men and Children) - One Story


What follows are my writing of September 22, 2018 – revised 3 days later in response to the blog entry of Melisa Reidy, the ex-wife of Chicago Cubs shortstop Addison Russell, where she spoke out for the first time about the abuse she survived in her marriage.  The blogsite is:

lifewithmelis310373032.wordpress.com/2018/09/19/site-settings-you-no-longer-have-a-secret-you-have-a-story-wordpress-com/  

For reasons unclear to me, the initial response was not published, though 127 other responses were.  I must looked to see what had initially happened with my revised posting, and somehow the original posting is now show as awaiting moderation.  I’m going to submit the revised posting a second time and perhaps one of the two will get posted.
------------------------------------

Reading your words and the varied responses brings up a lot of feelings and thoughts.

First and Most Importantly - You are 100% right to do what you have done both in leaving Addison Russell and in speaking out about your abuse!  

It is NOT your fault that you are an abuse  survivor.   How good a partner you were had NOTHING to do with the abuse.   Absent serious work Addison Russell  will abuse again.

Googling  celebrity survivors of abuse (and celebrity abusers) abound including:

Rihanna (Chris Brown - abuser)
Madonna (Sean Penn - abuser)
Oprah Winfrey
Tina Turner
Bill Clinton
Emily Post
Lindsay Lohan
Tyler Perry

and abusers including:

Johnny Depp
Mel Gibson
Emma Roberts
Nicolas Cage and
Steven Seagal .

Some reader say:  "you're lying".   Obviously, you could be lying.  I believe you and hope most everyone else will believe you.   While there are cases of false accusations, it takes a tremendous amount of courage to escape abuse and more so to speak out about it.   Addison Russell, with his money and “star power” could easily crush one not as strong as you.  No doubt you face a lot of pressures to keep quiet and few if any telling you to speak out.

Why Didn't You Get Out Sooner?  Obviously, some abuse survivors escape immediately. It is more Common for abuse survivors of to stay because they truly love their abusers and want to believe that the abuse will stop and/ or because they fear losing the father of their child(ren), or face huge financial difficulties if they leave , as well as not believing that family and friends will believe one.

I think that the biggest reason that domestic violence (as well as sexual assault) does not dramatically decrease now is that is has Not become a  MEN'S ISSUE or if you prefer a HUMAN issue.   It remains a "women's issue" where men such as I listen sometimes, but don't fully take in the importance of Stopping the Violence.

We Men - need to speak out.  We Men - need to organize.   We need to recognize that we may be part of the problem.  We need to see that the violence will persist until many like us speak out strongly.

We Men are not BAD!   We do bad things.  Many abusers - were abused as children and learned to abuse from their own tragic life experiences!

What you've written is important!  Thank you for sharing it!  I hope that you will continue to heal and grow!

I hope that your ex-husband will (soon) realize that he has a serious problem which he can deal with positively.  Perhaps someday he too will own his past and speak out positively.

George - in Chicago - a Cubs fan – who Cares!

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

A Primer for Today and Tomorrow

Cristal Nell - a Tragic Death

Am I The Only One? I Hope Not!