Tears Today

 

Entering my 73rd birthday

I feel pain

Deep Pain

My Body is Hurting

My Spirit is scarred

Perhaps even Bleeding

Hoping for a Respite

of Minutes – at least

Feelings and Though Abound

“I Deserve It”

If, If, If

Only

I will not say

to you

While it isn’t easy

I can’t also Discard

the Feelings

and Thoughts

Squeezing outward

and Inward

Writing in these moments

Helps me Relax

Being in the Pain

Has Meaning

Can’t bring Accountability

but it helps

in the Moment

Thinking of my Father

His Body – shrinking

Losing – his struggle

Nearly 60 Years ago

Only Age 46

and I

Lucky

Having the Opportunities

He Never Had

Can I Regain

The Flame or the Flicker

of the Flame

Of my Heart’s Inner Core

Had been growing

Seemingly Bountifully

Anger, Fear, Trembling

My Body Reacts

and I React

To it with Tears

Not of Rage

Dripping Slowly

Being in Sad Contemplation

Being Young(er)

Twas – Painful

Had been seemingly

Free

of all That.

-

Can I Learn

Really Learn

so much more

There

To dig Through

Pain – can Lead

Positively

-

I am Trying

I will (Continue to) Try

Being

Struggling where it is

Seeking

A New Way

Remembering

My Opportunity

to Become

to Be

Real

Where Reality

while not Hollywood

Tis also Grounded

In a reality of Caring

Loving, Being

Connection

Loneliness – not

Limited to Pain

-        Minimizing

The Hurt

The Deep Hurt

A Chance

Beyond the Dice

The Wind

Asks this Once

Hopefully,

I’m Listening

Hopefully I’m Hearing

the Haunting Words

of wonder

of the Wounds

IF not healing

At Least Being

Much Better

Today, Tomorrow

and Beyond

May 16, 2024

Tears of Now

 

 

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