On Being

 I believe that we each have our own personal story that we need to learn, understand, accept and move through. 

For a lot of us it is from our childhood. 

I suspect that others have had major traumas or perhaps also major awakening events in their lives. For me understanding both that I didn’t bond with either parent or another adult as a child and that I am autistic (Asperger’s) has helped me in old(er) age — I’m almost 70, learn a tremendous amount — which I wish I had learned while much younger. 

I would imagine that survivors of abuse (at any age) would often be greatly impacted by that. Growing — in some ways “growing up” involves becoming on the path to wholeness — a lifelong journey perhaps. 

Loving oneself — of course — is necessary to moving outward and loving others around one, as well as appreciating the wonders of our world(s) that surround us. Each of our paths are very different from those around us. 

For some — it may be a path seeking — solitude — perhaps a life in nature — woods, water — birds — flowers and similar. For others it is a very social world in various possible dimensions.

I may not be able to read a lot of social cues, due to my autism, however when I listen to a single individual speaking their truths, often I can focus and really hear a lot from within them, that might be more challenging for a neurotypical (e.g. “normal”) person to hear — especially when we don’t know each other really well. Life — really living involves being in our hearts — our souls — feeling our pains and our joys deeply. 

It includes picking ourselves up when we fall down — and moving ahead, learning from our error or accident. Loving life — isn’t something that I did for the first over 90% of my life. 

At the same time, finally being really alive and growing, every day realizing how little I know, and how much more I can learn is exciting. It is also wonderful — to learn much more from my heart — to feel and really be within myself. 



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